About the association BDSM Berlin e.V. - Some FAQs and facts
Goals of the BDSM Berlin e.V.
We want to be the main information hub in Berlin and the surrounding suburbs for all sadomasochists, fetishists and all other kinks. We not only want to inform, but we also want to help, where help is needed and wanted. May it be the fear of coming out, or lack of information, we are here for you. We are not here to judge, we are here to help.
A big part of being in this lifestyle in this day and age is still the lack of information. We hope to do our part in distributing the right information, informing doctors, lawyers and psychologists that what we do is not wrong, but right for us. We want to show them that we are just people like you and me with the same fears, the same problems, but just a little bit different in our sexuality.
Why do we do public relations for "activities" that people do at home in their bedrooms?
Unfortunately, the public perception of BDSM is still not conducive to reassuring newcomers and encouraging them to come out—even if only in their own bedroom. Those who have no problem with this are fortunate, but shouldn't assume that everyone else is in the same boat. We encounter plenty of people who, despite all the supposed sexual liberalism, are plagued by shame and guilt about their BDSM interests.
We certainly don't want to encourage every person interested in BDSM to loudly and publicly advocate for their personal interests. We simply want to work towards sadomasochism becoming a sexual norm that receives the same respect as, for example, homosexuality. After all, gay men are no longer presented like exotic animals in talk shows or newspaper articles (or at least that's no longer the norm)—thankfully. And such more civilized reporting and overall greater public presence should ideally lead to newcomers finding the courage to talk to their partner about their BDSM interests earlier and more easily. We don't want to achieve anything more than that.
But BDSM has already become mainstream... don't you read newspapers or watch TV?
The argument "Why are you making such a fuss? It's all perfectly normal" is one of the biggest obstacles we face. Especially for anxious newcomers, sadomasochism is anything but "perfectly normal," and the way the media typically addresses the topic doesn't exactly help to change that. In her book "Sexual Help on the Internet," Nicola Doering writes:
"Marginalized forms of sexual activity are increasingly showcased in the mass media (especially in talk shows and reports) due to their exotic nature. The media tend to aim for ratings-boosting dramatization (e.g., professional dominatrixes appear in outfits and offer a brief demonstration of their practices), while politically engaged members of these specialized cultures, in their defensive, strategic self-presentation, are more concerned with creating an impression of unproblematic and unspectacular normality in order to counteract widespread criminalization (e.g., suspicion that people with an active sadomasochistic preference are violent) and pathologization (e.g., assumption that people with a passive sadomasochistic preference are self-destructive). While the mass media portrayals offer potentially interested individuals the opportunity to identify with the now visible reference group, the popularization of a distorted and abbreviated (e.g., The portrayal of marginalized sexualities, based on external characteristics such as clothing and implements, has promoted renewed stereotyping (e.g., all SM practitioners are dressed in patent leather and leather and constantly whip each other). Finally, the strong mass media presence of marginalized sexualities also leads to the widespread misconception that it is now quite fashionable to deviate from the mainstream in one's lifestyle and sexuality. However, if we mistake the mass media's portrayal of sexual taboos for reality, we risk losing sight of real exclusion and discrimination.
For journalists, there still seem to be only two ways to approach the topic of sadomasochism: "Oh no, how bizarre and exotic!" or "Actually, they're more prudish than all of us!"
What can we do as an association, that we couldn't do without one?
Money.
Our current activities do cost money. Advertisements, informational materials, flyers, websites, phone calls, the information booth at the LGBTQ+ street festival: none of this is free (not to mention the hours of work). Thanks to our registered association structure, we at least have the money from membership fees available for these purposes, without having to constantly beg for funding. Anyone who considers public relations worthwhile in any form needs to understand that it costs money, and that this money has to come from somewhere. Furthermore, only as a registered association do we have a real chance of accessing grant funding.
PR.
It is practically impossible for an anonymous group of sadomasochists to get any press coverage, or—ideally—to get the media to contact us proactively when a relevant topic arises. In 1998, the taz Ruhrgebiet newspaper interviewed members of SMart Rhein-Ruhr about the pornography debate. This exceptionally good and informed article would certainly not have come about if, instead of SMart Rhein-Ruhr e.V., they had had to contact "some SM discussion group that sometimes meets on Wednesdays."
Trustworthiness.
Advertisements from a well-known club appear more reputable to hesitant readers, especially female readers, so that they might one day work up the courage to visit. According to SMart Rhein-Ruhr, women in particular often read the club's advertisements for years before they finally work up the courage to visit.
Why do Germans always have to have an association for everything? This is way to burocratic for me!
There's really not much to say against that objection, except that it simply can't be helped... Yes, a club is a bureaucratic affair involving all sorts of paperwork. But letting stylistic concerns deter you from something you believe is worthwhile can't be the last word in wisdom. Unfortunately, we can't change the fact that a club is fundamentally about as cool as a savings plan. We just have to deal with it :).
What's my incentive to join this association?
We currently cannot offer a members' magazine or similar incentives; we lack the time, money, and personnel. What we can offer:
- a network of wonderful people of all shapes, forms, and inclinations
- lots of good times
- opportunities to contribute and implement your own ideas
- the satisfaction of contributing to the education and normalization of BDSM
- eternal gratitude from us and those who use our services
Those who become members of BDSM Berlin do so because they believe it's worthwhile and because the membership fee is no more expensive than a monthly movie ticket. We ask you to consider whether the information and organizational services offered by BDSM Berlin, along with a little public relations work, might be worth the few euros to you.
Short history of the BDSM Berlin e.V.
The Berlin regulars' table of the IRC channel #bdsm.de has existed since summer 1997. A year later, in summer 1998, the "Berlin Munch" emerged from this. In autumn 1999, the association "BDSM Berlin e.V." was founded to cover the rising costs of informational materials and to have a better foundation for public relations. Since 2000, there have been regular information events for beginners as well as themed evenings and workshops. The association BDSM Berlin e.V. is now recognized as a non-profit organization worthy of special support and is a member of the German Society for Social Scientific Sexuality Research e.V. (DGSS) and the BVSM, the Federal Association of Sado-Masochism e.V.