Questions concerning BDSM Berlin

What does BDSM mean?

The Aconym BDSM stands for the following: 
BD = Bondage / Discipline
DS = Dominance / Submission and
SM = Sadism / Masochism
and is in this aspect much broade than the more wide only used word SM in Germany. A lot of people prefere to not use the word SM as it is mainly associated with the gain of pleasure through pain and suffering. This is of copurse not everyone kink. Bondage "rigger and bunnies", petplayer, or other kinks wont fit under the plain SM banner. Because of this the much broader word definition of BDSM is mainly used and normally understood by everyone interested in these activities.
So far the acronym BDSM is mainly found on the internet and is spreading through there.
 
 
 
 
 
Why would you need an association for this??
 
 
The several answers for thsi questions can be found here: Association
 
Is it important to become a member?
 
Well, yes and no:
Yes, because with your membership you support the association and allow all the fun things to happen that the club organises.
No, because even though you are not a member, these things are still available for you.
 
 
 
When and where will the meetings, munches and workshops be held?
Every week there will be between one and two munches. Once a month there will be a beginners meet and greet, as well as the women only munch, the D/s munch and the themed get togethers. Roughly every three months there will be a workshop concerning "SM - a how to safety guide". All detes and times as well as all the locations to the apropriate events you can find by going through the links.
 
What's a Munch?
 
 
A munch is a get-together of people within the same interest group in a public environment, often a bar or restaurant. Its is basically a place in public, where newbies can come out to, make their first impressions, meet people, learn new things, but also for "oldtimers" to meet friends and have great conversations, laughs and much else. Munches are in purblic, so not fetish waer is normally allowed. 
Munches were first developed through the members of the newsgroup alt.sex.bondage, but by know have spread over most of the world and can be found in nearly every bigger city.
 
 
Whow is going to a munch?
Everyone who has an interest in the topic of sm, being it that they practice themselves or are just curious and want information.
 
Can I just come to one of these munches?
Of course. The munches are held in local pubs and restaurants, first fo all to take away the fear of meeting unknown people in unknown and potentially dangerous places. Basically ina  regular bar or restaurant there is no differentiation between patrons. In the midst of the group itself, everyone can stay anonymous and doesnt even have to talk about his or her sexual preferences.
 
I dont have a sitter. Can I bring my child?
Please don't. We are not doing anything harmfull for children but we also want to discourage discussions about kids at the munches. We are aware of the problems this might inflict on parents, but are at this point in time not able to do anything against it. We hope you understand our point of view and are able to find a sitter for the next one.
 
I am not of age. Can I come anyways?
We are sorry, but no. We know that the interest in the lifestyle does often awaken before the start of the 18th birthday. But sadly all our events at this point in time are for people of age at this point.
This has several reasons. First of all we want to protect ourselves from a legal point of view. Mostly we would probably win, but why take a chance when there is no need. Second of all the attendance of minors often hinders the discussion of adults in attendance. 
We do however offer minors the option of personal-, email- or phone- chats. (If you are interested, have a look here.) We can also refere you to the special youth sm website: www.smjg.org.
 
 
If this is so in the open, wouldnt there be a chance of outing myself?
 
The first big step outside is the hardest and normally the only one thats in your way is yourself. Normally after a few months moost peoplem realiste that the guest sitting next to you in the restaurant or bar, doesn't care why you are here or what you talk about.
The biggest fear is often the one to meet friends of family by accident and how to explain yourself to them. First of al: Somebody who comes to the same group you do, wont out you, since you could do the same. And why would they anyways? Plus often there are not only lifestlyers at the munches. some bring family and friends, which makes it easier to explain when you meet some of your own. 
 
I have a very public job or am a person of public interest and don't want to be outed.
 
 
We dont ask you anything too personal. If you want to call yourself Stephen, but your real name is Nick, thats your business, we really don't care. If somebody askes you during small talk what you do for a living, just tell him you dont want to talk about it and he wont go further into it. Just an FYI: some of our members are working for the Police, the Government or the Church.
 
Is there a Dresscode?
 
Yes and no. We would appreciate it if you wouldnt come in your leathers or your fet wear. This is not only because we meet at a public place like a bar or restaurant, but its also to not scare away new people who would like to join us. 
(Even though most of the time fetwear doesnt necessarily mean sm anymore these days, most people plain and simply just dont care as to what you wear.
 
Can I meet new people at your munches and can I exchange experiences?
We have founded this meeting to be able to do just that. Meet people that have the same interests, share stories and just have fun. The lifestyle is big and differential as life is and there are alwqays some people there who know a bit about this and a bit about that.
 
I am sure there are only guys or couples.
Wrong again. If you are concerned about this, read the part in the FAQ concearning: FAQ for finding a partner
 
Why do I need an open meeting to talk about things that I do in my own four walls?
If you are asking this question, you abviously dont need one. Other people might not have a partner or are just interested in learning new things from people with experience. To exchange knowledge and just have fun nights out. Often you are even able to make new friends after a while. and friends are always good, especially if they have the same interests.
 
Why are you guys so concearned with all this? My own coming out was easy as pie and why shouldn't yours be any different? 
 
Also in this lifestyle there are many types of people. Some are living their life the way you might, others don't. Some have self doubts or are scared, while others directly jump into the deep end. Most however are a bit on the shy side and for those people we are here to help. 
 
Do I have to register for a munch?
No - just drop on in. And for those of you that doent feel comfortable to directly take this big jump we do offer a private meeting with the orgas. Just send us a This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., or go through our contact page. After all, this way you ahve already one and already have a firendly face to look forward to meeting again.
 
What if I dont find the right table?
We are really easy to find: on the table there is either a sign or something significantly sm descriptive. Also on our contact page there are some pictures from people who attend regularly.
 
I am shy, what will people think of me if I am just sittingt here not saying a word?
Then we think that a lot of us have been the  same in the beginning. Dont worry, this feeling will fade once you get to know a few more of us.
 
I am not sure if this is meant for me.
Most people think in the beginning that these "lifestylers" are different from themselves. Either you think your own phantasies might be too harmless for these people or you think the other way around. Not true. If you are a fetishist, prefere bondage, or not, enjoy sm or not, no matter the spectrum, you are right with us, as long as it is not illegal.
If you are interested in the lifestyle, the you are at the right place with us.
 
 
 
  I am mainly interested in rubber / pissing games / or tiny asian females that drip cough syrup into my ears. Can you help me find a comunity of same ineterst people?
We offer a contact point for everyone that is interested in a form of the lifestyle but we can't guarantee that there will be somebody with the same interest at every munch. The specialised groups that we know of can be found here. Thats sadly all we know.
 
No one is doing something without getting anything out for themselve. So what's the catch here?
We use the money we make from our membership fees to cover the bills, advertise and so on and so forth. The munches and meetings don't cost a thing. We so these munches because we either enjoy the company of the poeple and to meet new people very time, or because we wished we could have had the opportunity to find something similar when we tried to come out. Most of us just want to help and make the experience a pleasant one.
 
I can't find anything perverted on your website. your association must be a burocratic disguise and everything else rund behind the curtain.
 
Sorry, but can't help you there. What you see is what you get. Everything we do is explain omn the website. There is no conspiracy anywhere. We just want to try to help out, give tips and tricks and offer the opportunity to talk. What happens after, is all up to you.
 
Are you the SM-scene in Berlin?
No. There is no such thing as an official scene. Same as there is no official "vanilla scene", "gay scene" or hetero scene" The Lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle that coexists and overlapps with a lot of pover lifestyles. 
 
How about other SM-Groups?  Are you in competitors?
 
No. Berlin offers certain choices. We are happy to help out by finding those right choices for you (for example).