FAQ for finding a partner

I am looking for a partner. Could you guys help me find one?
No. Plain and simple. We are not a "dating website". We do however have an ad section. Here is a collection of forums used for those ads. Often there are matches found, both male and female, if the add is well written and honest. If you do ned help, we are more than happy to provide you with some pointers.
I am looking for a partner. Will I find him / her with you guys?
There is an urban myth that the first time you go to a munch, you find your perfect partner. Preferably so perfect that everything goes so perfect that you are married / collared within the first month and it holds forever. by just being perfectly honest we can tell you: "Dream on". This will never happen as just about nobody goes to a munch for this purpose. Its actually frowned upon to just go to munches to pick up chicks / dudes. Most of the time it is worth more to just make contacts, have nice chats. And you never know, you might find your dream partner at a munch, but probably not by trying out old, used pick up lines. 
Munches can help you boost your self esteam, come out of your shell and be able to talk about the topics that interest you, and if that leads to findiung a partner thats right for you, the better.
Isn't it a little bit hyproctitical to say that those munches are not meant for finding partners? 
People in the lifestyle are like all the other people on this worls as well. Sometimes they wanrt sex, sometimes they just want to talk or chat.
If your only purpose it to pick somebody up, you are better serverd visiting one of Berlins different alternative events, which might be better suited for this purpose. If you however are looking for making contacts on a normal level, these meetings will be a great start.
 I have already tried "everything" but I still wasnt able to find the right partner for me. Isn't there really any way that you guys can help me out here?
If we could, we would. Sadly there is no love potion, no mind reading, and no way of finding the right partner "The easy way, free of shortcuts" Also for non lifestylist, findinbg the right partner is never easy. Its really doesnt't matter if there is a sexual preference or not.
Often if you write a good add on a serious forum, the chances of success of getting an answer (even men) are not that bad. It also often helps of you ask for advice in proofreading. Members of mailing list are often more than happy to help you out in this aspect (as long as it is meant this way and has no hidden meaning behind it). Other than that we can only encourage patience and making as many contacts as possible. Because only through those will you enhance your chances. Just do yourself a favour and dont come over sesperate...because nothing is a bigger turn off than a desperate person. If you are too shy to even consider one of those approaches, professional help might be the right way for you.
 My partner doesnt want to do what I want. How can I convince her / him to try out the lifestyle?
There are many answers to this question, and trying to get into them would be too much for this little FAQ. We do however have a few answers for you. mailing lists have a lot of people with the same experiences in them. Just ask. The website "Die Wahl der Qual" also has some answers. And there are also often a few people at munches, who have gone through this problematic.
We can basically only give you the following advice:
  1. Talk about your wishes and desires openly and concrete.
  2. Be patient.
  3. Sometimes its just not the right partner and nothing can and will change that.
 I have the following sexual phantasy: (long story following) Who or how can I fullfill this phantasy?
Again: we are NOT a dating website and only have very limited otions to help  ypu out.
Roughly there are three ways:
  1. Write a short version of fantasy in an ad and hope that you can find somebody looking for the same thing. If it is a not too attractive phantasy like" I'm going to work all day and night and sne dall the money to you" its probably not going to work. Most people dont like being used for the fullfilment of somebody elses phantsies.
  2. To find somebody who has roughly the same interests. If you get to know each other better talk about the phantasy. Wait and see first, and if that doesnt help, see if a comparable phantasy between the thwo of you can be reached. If this doesnt work, rinse and repeat.
  3. Go to a professional and pay for the fullfilment of your phantasy.